Tuesday, December 11, 2012

7 days and counting...

With a week to go to find out if this was our lucky cycle, I find myself looking back in each cycle passed. Twenty-three cycles to be exact. That's a bit hard to believe. Has it really been TWO YEARS of us trying to have a baby?? Wow. This has been quite the ride of ups and downs. Mostly downs if I'm being honest. However, it's taught me so much about myself, my relationship with my husband, and my relationship with God. So, in reality I have come full circle with this, realizing that I'm becoming the person I was meant to be. I want to be a mother more than anything I've ever wanted before. I know that the child I bring into this world will not be perfect, and I won't be a perfect mother...but I also know that my child will learn the importance of having a relationship with God, learn to respect others, especially their elders, and that helping people in the best way they know how is the secret to true happiness. If by chance I am pregnant this cycle, it will be the best Christmas of my life. If by chance that I am not, I will keep the hope in my heart that 2013 is the year that my most desired dream comes true.

Friday, December 7, 2012

The hardships in life...

My best friend had a miscarriage. It's surreal to know one day she had a precious angel in her body, growing and thriving. And then the next moment, it's gone. I feel so heavy hearted for her. As I do for all the women who suffer a miscarriage. I've known quite a few people who have had to go thru this. Each one of them, a person of strength in my eyes. I'm not sure why things like this happen, but with faith, I know that it happens for a reason well beyond our knowledge, that there is a reason for everything. Prayers for my best friend who now has an angel baby watching over her.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Why can't I just learn to be patient?

Hours after I published my last blog post...

Ovulation Frustration

Cris and I decided that December 2012 would be our last month of giving it everything we got to conceive naturally. That means baby dancing every other day...drinking red raspberry tea, taking our Fertiaid vitamins 3x a day, and testing with OPKs during my ovulation window. So I noticed that last month I did not get a positive OPK, but I thought that was just because I had only tested during the morning hours. I'm on cycle day 14 so I should have received my positive yesterday or last night and I didn't. I'm not freaking out just yet, as I have a regular 29 day cycle. But what the hell...seriously? I have this deep underlying gut feeling that being on the 50mgs of clomid in Aug and Sept did more harm than good. I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience if not getting positive OPKs after stopping fertility medications? This is so frustrating!!! I know, I know...I'm preaching to the choir.