Here are my examples of the comments I have received through out these past 23 weeks of pregnancy and my thoughts on these intrusive comments:
1. "Your baby bump is so small, good luck with everything" - I AM SMALL. Do you know how ridiculous I would look if my bump was HUGE compared to my body? I'm small framed, have been my whole life. My belly isn't going to look like that of someone who normally weighs 50lbs more than I do. And don't wish me good luck, that's rude. Luck? Luck doesn't exist to me. Want to be nice in wishing me well? Pray for me.
And this goes both ways, you shouldn't say "Your bump is so big" either...you do know that pregnant woman feel huge no matter what, right??
2. "I can tell you are pregnant, your face is so much fuller" - So, basically what you just said to me is, "your face is fat." Thanks for going out of your way to point that out. When would it be okay to say this to anyone at any point in their life? I'm guessing never...so why say that to someone when they are pregnant?
3. "What's up with your weight?" - Yes...I was asked this by a nurse! One, I'm sorry, did you just graduate the 4th grade? Is that how you talk to patients? How unprofessional. Two, what do you mean, whats up with it? I didn't even know what she was asking. Apparently I was supposed to have gained between 10-15lbs by that time and I had only gained 7lbs. People need to back off on the weight thing. If my baby is measuring where he should be, than my weight shouldn't be of concern unless I lost weight. Everyone is different, every pregnancy in different. And FYI, my baby is measuring a few days bigger than average, so I'd say he's thriving, thank you very much :)
4. "Your boobs got huge." - Uh...thanks for noticing?? Apparently they must have been microscopic before.
Seriously, what is wrong with people?? I was raised so differently I guess. And by different, I mean to have respect for other people's feelings. There are two things that you should say to pregnant woman no matter what you think of her appearance:
1. You look ________ (fill in with any positive adjective, example being great, amazing, wonderful, fantastic)
2. You are glowing!
That's it people. Those are the only two acceptable forms of compliments for anyone that is pregnant. I know my face is fuller, I know my boobs got big. I know the skin on my face is dry, I know hips, butt, thighs, and arms got bigger. I stare at myself in the mirror butt-naked daily...not to superficially criticize the extra amount of weight I'm carrying around and what it's doing to me physically. No. I stare in complete AWE...examining every little detail that is allowing my miracle to grow and thrive inside me.
As for the dumb people who actually said those things to me...I think it's highly necessary that you think about what you say before it leaves your mouth. And what it would feel like to have that very same thing said to you. Maybe you think saying that my bump is so small is a compliment, but its not. Leave size out it. Please, for the love of God.
AHHHHH! I feel much better.
