Unexplained Bleeding

August 8th, 2013 - 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant: MASSIVE bleed, bright red, gushing blood, enough to saturate 4 or 5 pads.  Pregnancy was confirmed still there, saw the heartbeat a week later.
September 24th, 2013 - 12 weeks and 2 days pregnant: Large bleed, bright red, gush, enough to saturate 1 full pad.  A very uneducated PA in the ER told us that I was probably going to miscarry.  The heartbeat never wavered and I had also just been seen for a sequential screening 36 hours prior and everything looked perfect.
October 6th-7th-8th -  14 weeks and 1 -3 days pregnant: Started with brown blood when I wiped, slow and light...slept through the night, woke up with red blood on a panty liner, continued to bleed a light flow for a few hours.  Was seen by the OB, it had stopped by then, everything looked normal, went back to work, had another large gush of blood around 1:30 PM.  Continued to "seep" blood for the rest of the day and a little bit the next morning, leaving a trace of blood when I wipe.  Starting to believe this one is just about over.

Not once has any of these bleeds been accompanied with pain or cramping.  Each time, the baby is looked at via ultrasound and everything seems to look perfectly normal, as well as the placenta.  The answers I've been given as to what is happening has ranged from, "you're probably going to miscarry to this is normal for some people".  Not once has this gotten any less scary or frustrating.  As you know, when you are pregnant, tampons are out of the question.  So, while I sit here at work, and feel that pop, then the rush of blood running out of me, even though I'm wearing a pad the size of Texas, I have to RUN to the bathroom to make sure that I catch it in time that it doesn't bleed all over my pants.  I have a change of clothes here at work, but  still...being seen running to the bathroom gets everyone talking (again).  Ugh, that's one thing I wish I could get past and not let get to me, but knowing people are talking about me and assuming they know what is going on makes me so mad!  I wish people just kept their mouths shut and minded their own business.  Gossip is evil...and annoying.

I am grateful that everything with the baby is looking like it's okay.  And I have the most amazing husband who has gone out of his way to make sure my life is as easy as possible while I endure these bleeds.  Whether that means getting dinner for me so I don't have to cook, or just taking the time out to remind me that God is in control.  I honestly do not know what I would do without him.  He's been my rock through this entire process, from the start of everything, from the IUI's,  to IVF (twice), to the FET's (twice), to now a pregnancy that is scary and unpredictable.   He's been strong, calming, encouraging, hopeful, and motivating. I'm blessed to be his wife...truly blessed.

The great part about being at the doctors is that I have gotten more ultrasounds than the average person.  If there is a silver lining to these bleeds, this is it.  I love seeing my baby moving and wiggling.  It's the cutest thing in the world.  And truly, it makes you fall in love with them all over again.  As if you couldn't be any more in love, then you see this, sweet lil buttoned nose miracle....