A Letter: From Pregnant Kyle to TTC Kyle

Kyle,

    Wow, who would have thought, here you are, in your second trimester of your first pregnancy.  Beyond amazing!!!  You know, being on cloud nine, realizing your dreams are a reality, can make one easily forget what it feels like to be "TTC."  What I believe I am most proud of is that I can tell you with confidence, you will never forget.  Sure it's easy to get wrapped up in the fantasy now of what it will be like to hold your baby for the first time, picking out names, and clothes.  But I promise you, you will never forget what it felt like to take the journey of trying to conceive a miracle.
    Without this path you took, you would have never built the relationship you have with God.  God loves you SO much that this path was His way to get your attention.  Do you know all those times your period came, and you cried alone, silently, in the bathroom stall at work, He saw you, and was working in your life at that very moment to harvest patience in you?  Did you know all those times you found out someone else got pregnant after trying for a few months, and you sobbed in your husbands arms, He was building that bond between you and Cris that no one can break?  Did you know that when your fertility treatments failed and you thought about giving up, God was teaching you perseverance, strength, and courage?  Now look at yourself, take a long hard look.  Who do you like better?  The person you were a few years ago?  Or the person you are now?  Haven't these painful struggles made you not only closer to the Lord, but also compassionate for others and a better person over all?  You are knowledgeable in all aspects of fertility, you are relatable to many other women facing the same struggle, and you are a testimony for nonbelievers.
     I see you now, cupping your belly, knowing there is a miracle growing inside, from God himself.  A gift from heaven.  You look at your unborn child as just that, a true miracle, with appreciation, gratefulness, and amazement.  You will be a wonderful mom, one who cherishes the moments others may not.  Like when your baby is screaming at 4:00am after getting 2 hours of sleep the night before, you will be grateful to hear your child's voice.  Or when a huge mess is made in your just cleaned living room, your patience will not be tested, you will rejoice that there is a child making memories in your home.
     This journey of trying to conceive was long, difficult, and painful.  The pain was almost too much to bare at times, and yes you did want to throw in the towel at times.  But you didn't.  And here you are...13 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  You should be proud of yourself and all you have accomplished.  You will continue to grow (physically as well as emotionally).  And you will never lose your sense of gratitude because of what you have gone through, nor your sense of compassion for those who continue on their journey of trials and tribulations.
    Don't just embrace your past, embrace and celebrate every single day of your pregnancy, even the scary days.  You have been given a miracle, that is worth rejoicing every second of every passing day.  Love yourself, take care of yourself and your growing baby.


Psalm 16:11
Thou wilt make known to me the path of life; In Thy presence is fullness of joy; In Thy right hand there are pleasures forever.