Finding my own balance...

     I think my most important piece of advice I could offer to anyone that is pregnant is to stop listening to everyone else and just be in the moment with yourself.  I think most of my stress this pregnancy has come from the idea of what I should or shouldn't be feeling based on other people's opinions and experiences.  Every single pregnancy is different, every mother's body is different, and every single baby is different.
     I also think that it is completely okay to admit that pregnancy is HARD.  And a lot of the times, it SUCKS!  No matter how long you have dreamed of getting pregnant, whether or not the baby was planned,  and no matter how old you are, pregnancy is difficult.  I had failed fertility treatments and I prayed and prayed for this child, but I still have the right to complain that pregnancy is not glamorous, and it's really hard sometimes.  Sure, you'll hear the women who say, "Oh I just LOVE being pregnant!" and they seem to never complain about anything.  But I'm sure those women feel fatigued, nauseated, or fat at some point in their pregnancy.  And then you'll hear those women that say that they hate everything about being pregnant.  I believe I'm somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.
     I have no problem admitting that I hate having to go pee all the time.  Honestly, I wake up between 5-8 times a night to use the bathroom.  I also hate feeling restricted in terms of my level of activity.  There are times when I want to pick up my nephews and squeeze them, but I can't.  Or just wanting to go for a hard run to work off stress and I can't.  Of course people will say that I can do those things.  But in my head, I find reasons why I shouldn't.  I would not do anything to jeopardize this pregnancy.  So if to me that means no running, no lifting, etc, then it is what it is.
     I have also been underweight my entire life.  So now, seeing my body change is difficult.  I LOVE my big belly.  I wouldn't change that for the world.  However, I feel like I gained weight in my chin, like my face looks fat, and other people say they don't see it, maybe they are being nice, or maybe they don't see it.  However, I don't feel like myself and I don't like that.  And more than anything, I hate when people point it out.  Yes, I have had someone tell me my face looks full.  That made me like crap.
     I do love that when I'm sitting alone, thinking about upcoming weeks, and having my miracle in my arms, that I'm never actually alone.  I LOVE when he moves around and I can feel those punches and kicks, reminding me in the sweetest way possible that I am a mommy.  And with that being said, I LOVE being a mommy.  I love knowing that I am someone's mommy.  I think about the way I look at my mom, from when I was a little girl til now, and how much I love and need her.  I think about the sacrifices she made for me and how grateful I am for her.  And it overwhelms me in the best way possible to think that I am that person to someone.
     I also love how much I am in love already.  I haven't even met my son yet, and I already am in love with him.  He is a piece of heaven, gifted to me, from God.  I can't even put that in words how incredible that is.  And more than even that, I love how close I feel to God.  God chose to me mother this soul  The idea that God trusts me to do that, makes me feel so loved by God and has only strengthened my faith in Him.
     To wrap this up, I just wanted to encourage pregnant women to enjoy their own personal experience in their own way and complain when you want to if you makes you feel better.  Sometimes you just need to get things off your chest, like, "UGH!  I feel so fat today!" or "My skin is so gross!".  But then also don't forget to cherish the things you do enjoy!  Like when your husband runs out to get you a hot fudge sundae from McDonalds...or when someone says, "Wow your hair look amazing" or "You are seriously glowing".  I think it's perfectly fine to find your own balance.