Feeling Emotional Today

Life is going way too fast. I know people warn you how fast it goes, but it doesn’t prepare you for it. Sometimes I feel like I need to be medicated because I can get overwhelmed to the point of tears that “forever” isn’t long enough. Especially when I’m talking about time spent with my family. I mean think about it, some people reading this, their mothers or fathers have passed away, or their sisters or brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, best friends, or husband or wives, or God forbid their children. Anyone who has known someone to pass away can attest to the fact that they didn’t get enough time with them. That if they had one more moment they would have so much to say, one more hug, they’d hold on a lot longer. Ugh oh man, I don’t know what it is about the past 24 hours but this sadness has a grip on me that I’d like to shake. I don’t like dwelling on death or the fact that I won’t feel like I had long enough with Landry or Cris. It seriously makes me so sad.

The only way that I know how to pull myself out of this thought that if left to snowball could turn into full-blown depression is that I have hope and faith for eternal life after this one. I don’t know how it all works, and I don’t have to. No one knows how it all works, no one has died and come back to life, except for Jesus Christ, and He is who I choose to follow. He is who I worship. I am nothing without His love, and because of His love, I can have hope that after this life as I know it is over for myself or anyone else I know and love, that there is a“forever” somewhere, that will feel long enough. That we are right now surrounded by souls of people that have passed. That we are loved beyond what we deserve and can enter into an existence where there is no sadness, pain, or suffering. Heaven doesn’t seem far away anymore. With that, I’m inhaling and honoring my loved ones that are still very near. I choose to believe, this is my choice. Thank you God for giving me this life, and forgive me if I ever seem ungrateful. I love you and I know how very blessed I am.