Busy Bee

I haven't felt inspired enough to cut into my busy schedule to blog lately. I will have a lot to update in the next few weeks!

Quote of the Day

"I've learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."- Martha Washington

'nuf said.

Hurry up and wait....

Still waiting on the script to get Cris's SA done again. I think out of this entire experience it's the waiting that irks me the most. Like seriously, why does it take so long??? They do know we have lives to live right?

Happy Easter

Nothing, I mean NOTHING makes me happier than a holiday spent with family. I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend. God Bless.

Slipping...

I can tell, can you? The positivity that I embodied came naturally to me just a few months ago. Now the word hopeful sounds foreign to me. I know I'm not alone in this struggle in trying to cope with the fact that's been over a year of trying and I haven't gotten pregnant. I know there are many women out there who have been trying for much longer than me. Yet still, "staying positive" gets harder with each month that passes me by. Honestly, I feel like that is what time is doing to me. I see everyone's life moving forward at such a rapid speed and I'm just watching life whiz on by, without me in its grasp.
Do not mistake my sadness and frustration for ungratefulness. I am entitled to feeling this way without negating the goodness in my life. I know that I am blessed. I certainly can be thankful for what I have and still feel sadness for what I do not. Anyone that tells me differently is ignorant and has never WANTED a child of their own the way someone who tries and fails has.
One word that has not escaped my vocabulary is faith. Perhaps the definition has changed a bit. I can't say at this point that I have faith that I will bear a child of my own. I can say with confidence that I have faith that God will never leave me to fight this battle alone.

HSG Procedure and Results

I survived!!! Haha, honestly I was terrified of the procedure because of the pain factor it entailed. However, it wasn't THAT bad. The worst part for me was when they injected the dye. But it truly only hurt for a few seconds. The results are immediate...and I'm all clear! I feel more confident in my body and my pain tolerance. I'm proud of me!

Getting Tested...

The time has come. It's now been a full year of trying to have a baby with no success. Let the infertility testing begin. Tomorrow I'm scheduled for blood work. Needles don't bother me too much...as long as I don't watch...I'm okay. After that, it's the dreaded HSG test which scares me! But I am willing to do what it takes to have a lil mini Cris running around. The thought of a mixture of Cris and I one day running around on this planet cracks me up and melts my heart <3

Will keep you posted as I face this difficult journey of my young life.